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The New Yorker: Friendly Fire
by Tessa Hadley

As this is my first review I would like to welcome you all to my twisted mind. Pull up a chair and get comfortable; this should be a doozey. The title caught my eye; sadly that was the highlight of the story. From start to finish this tale of the cleaning lady dragged. That’s right, I said cleaning lady. A title like Friendly Fire would suggest a much more interesting affair, but no, two old ladies cleaning a warehouse. I really wanted my first review to be a positive one, but I have been left no choice.

The first sentence screams weakness. “Shelley was helping out her friend Pam.” Gripping, exhilarating, tantalizing, enticing, exciting, alluring, and outstanding! These would be my comments had this been written by a second-grader. I was always told that the first line of any short story had to be simple, yet interesting. She had the simple part down, but failed miserably with the interesting.

The very weak opening line was quickly followed by dribble. The next two pages of text were littered with useless information. The author seemed to be more interested in the story’s length than its quality. I’m all about details, but they’re pointless if they don’t help develop the story. This brings me to the overall focus. If the author had stayed with the main thought a little bit more I might have enjoyed reading this, but she was all over the place.

The story is essentially about Shelley and her struggles and worries with her family. She has a son on active duty in the army, and a seventeen year-old pregnant daughter, not to mention she is going through menopause. This is plenty of troubles for anybody to have to deal with, and the basis of a great character. If the author had adhered to just these, I probably would have enjoyed this, but she didn’t. She added little details that slowed down flow, she even mentioned Pam’s husband a few times which was completely unnecessary. There was just too much clutter.

Finally, when the story rolled around to the moment of truth, the climax, the part that you hope and pray will be good enough to make everything else worth the time invested, it fizzles. The idea was there, I could see it through all the garbage, but it wasn’t powerful enough to overcome all of the blemishes leading up to it. If you want to show somebody an example of trying to do too much with what they’ve got, I recommend this, but past that it’s a waste of time.

Read this story and tell us what you think.

About the Reviewer
John Kawa is an 18 years old high school graduate. His interest for writing started to develop early and throughout his education he organized his schedule so that he could write as much as possible. John helped with the school’s production of The Music Man and co-hosts a weekly college radio show, Sunday nights from 10pm-1am (central time). He plans to write as much as possible so his voice will be heard.

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