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Ghoti: Bullet Bob’s Coffee
by Matt Baker

If you’ve ever had a lousy job-and the inevitable “bad day” that accompanies it-you’ll get a chuckle out of Matt Baker’s Bullet Bob’s Coffee.

Baker’s tale is a comic “day in the life” piece that follows a down-on-his-luck barista through a hellish morning shift at a small coffee shop.

What jumps out from the very first line is the narrator’s biting wit, which is prevalent throughout the work. They prove especially delightful in his exchanges with overzealous “coffee culture” patrons. When a customer walks in and proudly orders a “quad, half calf, two percent, extra hot, two inches of foam, one and a half pump sugar free vanilla, two raw sugar and half a Sweet n Low latte, in a double cup,” the narrator’s wit truly shines, sarcastically identifying the order as “a sure sign of metropolitan savvy, a pretentious checkmark on their very own, ‘Why I Kick Ass’ chart.”

Edgy lines like these give the writing a rough, gritty texture that helps the work achieve that declaratively antagonistic theme.
Unfortunately, technical composition and witty dialogue form the apex of the piece.

The text’s opening provides few hints as to the narrator’s character and lifestyle–three failed engagements, difficulty keeping a job, heavy alcohol use. But it’s all we’re given before being tossed into the action. Like a portrait without a face, the narrator’s experiences and mental reasoning are completely absent, diminishing any hope of understanding or identifying with the man behind the action.

And as the story progresses past its initial stage, the wheels of the text begin to fall off. Baker falls into sloppy description of the narrator’s sudden and unexplained aggressive behavior toward customers, cursing at them with a rather vulgar string of profanity that is more unsettling than it is stylish. The section comes off as troubling and exceptionally juvenile, and is anything but unique.

The theme of the individual in tension with society can still prove richly unique if developed and executed carefully, but unfortunately Baker has failed to achieve that balance here. An undercurrent of unwarranted hostility toward society runs through the story that is neither enjoyable nor interesting. The seeds of savvy social commentary are evident, but have failed to take root.

More development is needed to help understand the reasoning behind the narrator’s emotional motivation, and further exploration of the narrator’s character would add depth to the tragic psychological unraveling that unfolds.
Its tone can be summed up in a single succinct phrase: Dostoyevsky without a cause.

A reasonably good initial effort, as the writing is undoubtedly comical and shows a great deal of promise. But Bullet Bob’s Coffee is hollow and grossly underdeveloped, and falls well short of its overall purpose of constructing a scathing social commentary.

Read the story for yourself and tell us what you think.

About the Reviewer
Robert Lewis graduated from California State University - Sacramento in May 2007, where he earned a Bachelor’s Degree in English Composition and composed sports features pieces for the college newspaper publication. He currently writes for Associated Content in his idle time.

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