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by Joseph Itiel

…Saul’s son Jonathan was deeply attracted to David and came to love him as much as he loved himself (I Samuel, 18: 1).

I grieve for you, my brother Jonathan; how dear you were to me! How wonderful was your love for me, better even than the love of women (II Samuel l: 26).

Crown Prince Jonathan, the son of Saul, the first king of Israel, had always managed to hide the great confusion that was in his mind. An extraordinarily brave warrior, the soldiers he commanded would never have suspected the turmoil in his soul and the constant doubts gnawing at him. Lately, he had been more bewildered than ever. Before it had been about his father the king and the seer Samuel. (Jonathan hated the word “prophet,” the new substitute for seer that was so common these days. In his opinion, the old curmudgeon Samuel-whom he feared as much as he despised-had caused enough trouble as a plain seer.) The new anguish in his soul, and also the delight of his life, was David: the handsome shepherd, the brilliant musician, the valiant fighter, the loyal friend, and recently . . . his beloved. Of course, “beloved” was the wrong word to use between two men, but no other expression would adequately describe how he felt about David.

XXX

Jonathan was a mere toddler when Samuel anointed his father, Saul the son of Kish, King of Israel. It was not until much later in life that he became aware that Samuel had used his father as a mere tool. The people wanted a king to lead them in battle, instead of an irritable seer, who would spend whole days singing and dancing like a man possessed. Grudgingly, Samuel obliged them. He literally chose the tallest man in Israel, who was also quite handsome, and anointed him king. So shy was the new prospective ruler that when the time came to proclaim him king, he hid himself in a supply wagon. Samuel had to send a delegation of elders to fetch Saul to his own coronation. Jonathan was certain that Samuel knew that in spite of Saul’s kingly appearance he lacked the strength of character to go with the title. In the end, Samuel remained the real ruler of the country and Saul was his hapless lackey. No wonder the king was so often afflicted with the “evil spirit,” a euphemism used by his retainers to describe his mad behavior, when the frequent attacks of melancholy and rage took hold of him.

It was due to Saul’s madness that David first came into his father’s court. One of his father’s courtiers was bold enough to tell Saul: “Majesty, all your servants are grieved when they see you dejected by the evil spirit. Maybe if your Majesty listened to the soothing sound of music it would help calm your spirit and cheer you up. I suggest, your Majesty that we inquire throughout your kingdom and find someone who would be able to play such music for you. The harp would probably be the most soothing musical instrument.” And King Saul, who was rather fond of music, accepted forthwith.

Messengers were sent throughout the land to find a suitable musician. David, the son of Jesse, of the tribe of Judah, who lived in Bethlehem, was the one chosen. David was the youngest of Jesse’s eight sons, just a lowly shepherd, but with a reputation for great courage bordering on foolhardiness. Shepherds, if they had musical inclinations, played the flute for their herds. Everybody wondered where David had learned to play the harp, and play it so well. Not only did he play the instrument, he composed songs to go with his music. The songs were not the frivolous verses of a young man but rather religious in nature. However lighthearted David was, he was a zealous believer in YAHWEH, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, a man after Samuel’s heart. It was the latter who single-handedly put an end to Canaanite idol worship among the Israelites. He certainly approved of David’s religious dedication to YAHWEH, the ancient God of the Israelites, who liberated them from their bondage in Egypt.

XXX

Jonathan remembered well David’s first appearance at his father’s court. The prince had commanded in his lifetime thousands of soldiers and he sometimes had difficulties distinguishing one from another. After a while, they all looked more or less alike: black hair, brown eyes, and somewhat squat bodies. (In this respect Jonathan himself was lucky. The few times he saw his own reflection, he noticed that he looked like a somewhat less rugged version of his handsome father; though not as tall, to be sure. He cut a more distinguished figure than most of the soldiers under his command.) David certainly would not be confused for another soldier in the Israelite army. His hair and beard were light red, his face slightly freckled, and his green, limpid eyes sparkled. He had a lithe body that he seemed able to move as fast and gracefully as if he were a deer. Much later Jonathan learned that a few generations ago, Boaz’s wife Ruth, the daughter-in-law of Naomi, was a Moabite woman and David was one of her descendents. Was it possible, Jonathan wondered, that the smidgen of Moabite blood in David’s veins would make him look so different, and so much more handsome, than the rest of the Israelites?

After listening to David play the harp, while singing vigorously in his melodious voice, Jonathan was so smitten with him that he presented him with the robe he wore, his belt, and the armor he carried on him. This was no small gift. For many years, the Philistines deprived the Israelites of their own smiths, by systematically decapitating them when they raided a town. Most of the weapons in the possession of the Israelites had been captured in battle from the Philistines, as indeed was Jonathan’s sword, which had belonged to one of their chieftains.

From that day onward, when Jonathan had a moment for himself, all he wanted was to spend it in David’s company. Most days, Jonathan had precious little time to spare. Like his father, Jonathan was busy commanding the army of the Israelites and constantly doing battle. Both of them rushed from one skirmish to another, fighting with all the neighboring kingdoms, as well as hostile marauders. Before Saul had become king, every tribe of Israel fought its own battles. If they were too weak, they would negotiate with their enemies, paying a tribute as the price for peace. Now that Saul was king, he was expected to do all the fighting. His army was much too small for that task. When he called upon the tribes to send more soldiers, their young men were usually too busy tilling the fields. And if they did arrive to do battle, they had the habit of dispersing and returning to their homes at the first sign that hard and prolonged fighting was awaiting them.

David, who followed the king into the battlefields, was expected to participate in the fighting. It took only a few weeks before he was promoted to be the commander of ten men, then of one hundred, and eventually of one thousand. The uncircumcised (that is how everyone in the army referred to the Philistines) prepared a battle plan even for the smallest of skirmishes. All the Israelites knew was how to engage their enemies in hand-to-hand combat. Thus they were often lured into a trap that the uncircumcised had meticulously planned before the engagement had even begun. Inexplicably for an inexperienced soldier, David excelled in the art of planning military operations. Under his command, the uncircumcised were often the ones who were trapped.

XXX

Saul’s palace in Gibeah, which really was just a large farmhouse belonging to his father Kish to which many rooms had been added, was a place of constant intrigues and rumors. Jonathan, who had never visited another king’s court, assumed that these things went on wherever men vying for power congregated. But he knew who was to blame for most of the unpleasant goings-on at Gibeah. Samuel took it upon himself to visit his father a number of times a year to repeat the same message: “God, the Lord of Israel, who anointed you king, is displeased with your disobedience to His commands. He will tear away your kingdom from you and give it to another, more deserving in His eyes, unless. . .” And here he attached one of his imperious and totally impractical conditions. Jonathan was certain that whenever the seer invoked God’s name he really referred to himself. Samuel had anointed Saul, so it was within the realm of possibility that he could take the kingdom away from him. But as soon as that happened, his eldest son Jonathan would ascend to the throne, as was his birthright. He didn’t need a seer to anoint him. Any priest could do it. Was Samuel implying that Jonathan would predecease his father? However much Jonathan despised Samuel, he was keenly aware that the old man was a superb seer and always foretold the future accurately. Whether he could do even more, that is, cause future events to happen, Jonathan was not sure.

Not very long after David’s arrival at court, a rumor started that Samuel had anointed David as the future king of Israel, in front of David’s father and his seven brothers. On the face of it that was nonsense. The youngest son of a family would never be picked to be king. Yet the rumor mongers, making sure that both Saul and Jonathan would hear it, alluded to the fact that Samuel had anointed the present king in spite of the fact that he was a Benjamite, a member of the smallest tribe among the Israelites. Samuel had a habit of always doing the least expected thing.

Another rumor that made the rounds was that five years earlier David had killed the giant Goliath, the champion of the uncircumcised, by felling the heavily armed man with a single stone from his slingshot. That too was probably nonsense. David would have been a lad of thirteen or fourteen at the time. Goliath had his shield-bearer walk in front of him to deflect deadly arrows. Surely, the bearer would have been able to prevent a stone from hitting his master. But it so happened that in the heat of battle nobody had recognized or even accurately remembered the slayer of Goliath, and how exactly it all happened. Immediately after Goliath had perished, the Israelites attacked the fleeing uncircumcised and the combat was very heavy that day. By the time it was all over, Goliath’s slayer had disappeared.

Such rumors had a devastating effect on Saul. He would listen attentively to David playing his harp, tell him one moment that he loved him as if he were his own son, and the next throw his spear at him. Whether he meant to hurt or kill him was never clear. David’s agility was legendary. Still, in such close quarters, how could the king have missed?

None of this diminished the great affection Jonathan felt toward David, which was reciprocated by the latter. In his mind, Jonathan used the word affection. But he sensed that was not the right word. He really felt great love for David, and, incredibly, not the kind of love a man feels toward another but . . . even in his mind, he dared not finish the sentence.

David, who always accompanied Saul, was rarely in the same place as Jonathan. The Israelite army usually had to fight on more than one front: The king commanded one force, while his son was in charge of the other. When both Jonathan and David were at the so-called palace, the prince’s chamber was invariably full of people: retainers, servants and handmaidens, favor-seekers, military advisers, and hangers-on who were as tenacious as carpenters’ glue. They could have found privacy in David’s room, but it would have been unseemly for Prince Jonathan to go there.

To gain privacy for both of them, Jonathan came up with a simple solution. The Philistines were masters of the art of archery. Their bows and arrows were superior to the amateurish Israelite equipment. That translated into a simple military fact: When the uncircumcised were in a prepared defensive or offensive position it was extremely difficult to engage them in close-quarter combat. They picked off row after row of advancing Israelite soldiers because of the great distance their arrows traveled. The few Israelite archers had inferior bows and their arrows caused hardly any damage even if they hit the intended target. Their victories were achieved only when they fell upon the Philistines by stealth, making it impossible for them to use their bows. This, in fact, happened the day Goliath was slain. The uncircumcised were watching their champion taunting the Israelites, failing to form a protective perimeter around their encampment, thus allowing the Israelites to fight them successfully hand-to-hand.

Adjacent to the palace was a field that nobody tilled because it was covered with huge boulders. It served as an ideal place to practice archery. The Philistine bows were much heavier than those of the Israelites and required much training before it was possible to use them effectively. Because the Philistines arrows were so precious, they had to be collected carefully after shooting practice. This task was assigned to one of Jonathan’s pages.

In one corner of the field was a circle of boulders surrounding a small clearing, no bigger than two or three rooms. It was an arduous task to climb up and down any one of those boulders to get to the clearing. And if a person was determined to do so, this could not have been achieved without making a fair amount of noise. Jonathan chose that particular clearing for having a private spot to be with his friend. It was not easy to get rid of Jonathan’s page when the practice session was over. Even though all the prince’s pages were callow youths, they fancied themselves his bodyguards. They regarded leaving the prince unprotected by their short swords as a dereliction of duty.

“My lord, I’m charged by the King to protect you at all times,” the dismissed page would repeat over and over again.

“David, who’s the commander of one thousand men will be at my side protecting me. Take the afternoon off and do as you please.” Jonathan told him. Reluctantly, the page would leave the two of them alone.

When Jonathan assured himself that his page had left, he and David would go to the edge of the field, climb up to the top of one of the boulders and down again to the ground on the other side. Amazingly, even during the long summer months, when the land was parched and only thorns thrived, that particular patch was verdant with grass and full of blooming flowers. Where the water came from to irrigate the ground was a mystery.

There, Jonathan and David spent the few afternoons when they were free from battle duty. Jonathan was much more talkative than David. Estranged from his father since the melancholy took hold of the king and trusting none of his retainers, he was eager to tell David the innermost secrets of his heart. David was much more reserved. For one, he strictly observed the social disparity between himself and Jonathan, always addressing him as “My Lord.” For another, David was very popular among the Israelite soldiers. He had many more friends to whom he could speak frankly and did not need to pour out his heart to the prince.

Much of the time they spoke about preparing for this or that military engagement against the uncircumcised. Jonathan often talked with great rancor of Samuel. He was certain that the seer was driving his father deeper and deeper into his melancholy and his sudden attacks of rage against David. He was terribly worried that one day his father would kill David. For his part, David wondered how he had offended the king and how he and Jonathan could keep their friendship in spite of Saul. David spoke openly about the conflict between Jonathan’s filial duty to his father, and amity between the two of them.

XXX

The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had promised the Israelites dominion over the entire land of Israel. But long after they had conquered it, they still shared it with many other nations that dwelled in fortified cities. Among them were the Canaanites. Unlike the Israelites, the Canaanites had many gods, the chief ones being the male god Baal, and the female goddess Ashtoreth. Especially in the temples of the female goddess there were q’deshim and q’deshot, cultic male and female prostitutes. Samuel, who was dedicated to service of YAHWEH, had eradicated all such temples in the Israelite towns but, of course, everybody had heard of the religious sexual rituals in the Canaanite temples. Jonathan, who had never been to a Canaanite city, knew of those rituals for as long as he could remember. While the gods of other nations didn’t interest him in the least, at times he fantasized about their temple worship. However embarrassing it was for him to let his mind dwell on such matters, he wondered how it would feel to be penetrated by another man from behind, as a woman was taken by her husband from the front. He was, after all, a married man, had had a concubine before that, and therefore not inexperienced with how men lay with womankind. The notion of lying with another man as with a woman was repugnant to him. He was pretty sure that YAHWEH also forbade it. Yet, frustratingly, every now and then, especially after a bloody battle, in his mind’s eye, he would see such a thing happening to him. Of course, he had never discussed his fantasies with another human being.

David’s appearance in court had changed all of this.

When he saw David and heard play the harp and sing for the first time, Jonathan suddenly experienced full tumescence. He was fortunate that everybody was looking at the new arrival; otherwise they would have spotted his huge bulge. That night, when he thought about David, he even spilled his seed upon the ground, as Israelite lads sometimes did because they were young and foolish. A grown man, especially a prince, had enough wives and concubines at his beck and call to avoid such nonsense, of which YAHWEH disapproved. Jonathan was captivated by David’s mannerisms as much as his looks. When David told the king how he had killed a bear while defending his herd, he said: “Then I grabbed the bear by its beard and smote it.” Though David made up beautiful songs, and composed the music to them, he never lost the peculiar speech that was used exclusively by shepherds. And even when Saul made him commander of a thousand men, he never tried to disguise his humble origins. True, his father Jesse, of the tribe of Judah, was a wealthy man. But David was the youngest of eight sons, and had been relegated in his youth to the most menial chores of the clan.

Jonathan would not admit even to himself that he wanted to be possessed by David, as a woman is by her husband. When he thought about it, he always substituted the less descriptive and more elegant verb “to know.” He wanted David to know him, the way he himself knew his wife.

XXX

Saul had become king over the Israelites because Samuel had anointed him in YAHWEH’s name. Few people dared disobey the seer, especially when he spoke in God’s name. But by now Samuel was an old man. Once he died, would the Israelites still want Saul to reign over them? And more to the point, once Saul was no more, would they let his son Jonathan ascend the throne? Or would they want the scions of the House of Jesse, of the tribe of Judah, to be their ruler?

Saul may have been mad at times. His fear of David was based to a certain extent upon the “evil spirit” that possessed him on a regular basis. But his foreboding that David the son of Jesse, of the mighty tribe of Judah, would eventually usurp the throne-in his lifetime or that of his son-was sound reasoning on his part. It galled him that Jonathan, of all people, would be David’s strongest defender in court. However furious his father and other relatives were, Jonathan was certain that they never suspected that he loved David as a man would love a woman. Among the Israelites, as far as Jonathan knew, such perverse love affairs did not exist.

At times, Jonathan shared his father’s outlook on his prospects of ascending the throne, as compared to those of David. Jonathan was accepted by the troops as an exceptionally brave warrior, but he was not a natural leader of men. David’s soldiers adored him, as did the citizenry whenever they came in contact with him. Jonathan was ready to cede the throne of Israel to David, and once even suggested to him that he would serve as his second in command. Fearing for the future of his own progeny, he made a number of covenants, most solemn friendship pacts, with David, binding upon both them, as well as their descendents forever after. Jonathan was all too aware of the ancient custom of a usurping king annihilating the kith and kin of the previous ruler.

Though Jonathan spoke to David freely about many subjects, he never asked him whether he was the slayer of Goliath or whether Samuel had anointed him king. Why he never asked these questions puzzled him greatly. He suspected that he did not want to know the answers.

The day arrived when it became clear to Saul that he could not kill David with royal impunity. The latter was held in such high esteem by the troops that an act of violence against him would bring about a rebellion among the soldiers. So Saul sent David on more and more dangerous missions against the Philistines, hoping that he would lose his life in battle. Perversely, the more daring the mission, the more successful David was in carrying it out.

Guided by his advisers, Saul came up with a scheme that was bound to get David killed. The way the Israelites and the Philistines fought was to kill a few soldiers of the opposite camp. When one side realized that they faced defeat, they would flee the scene: the Philistines into their fortified cities or garrisons, the Israelites into the desert or the hidden caves. If they were cornered, soldiers of either side would fight to the death. The Israelites still remembered that many generations ago the Philistines plucked out the eyes of their great hero Samson and made sport of him, once he fell into their hands. A similar fate awaited any Philistine who became an Israelite prisoner of war. Killing a few Philistines and having the rest of them flee was one thing; but systematically slaughtering many of them to collect their foreskins would call for the most gruesome hand-to-hand combat in which many Israelite soldiers would perish, including-Saul hoped fervently-their commander, David.

What Saul’s advisers suggested was that the king offer one of his daughters as a wife to David. Naturally, the king would be entitled to a royal dowry. Since David was in no position to bestow gifts worthy of a king, he would demand of him 100 foreskins of the Philistines. That meant killing 100 of the uncircumcised, the majority of whom would have to be cornered and therefore would fight to the death. Leading such an intense engagement, David was bound to be one of the victims of the battle.

Saul had two daughters, Merab, the elder, and her younger sister, Michal. When Merab was formally offered to David as a bride, David replied to the king’s advisers: “Who am I and what is my family that I should become the king’s son-in-law?” That was the proper answer, and David gave it willingly. He did not much care for what little he had seen of Merab. Saul had her marry someone else, and then repeated his offer to David: this time to marry his younger daughter, Michal. Michal was much prettier and haughtier than her elder sister. Meaningful, though chaste, glances had been exchanged between her and David. For the second time Saul advisers said to David, “You can become the king’s son-in-law by marrying Michal.”

David answered: “It’s a great honor to become the king’s son-in-law, too great for someone poor and insignificant like me.”

Saul ordered his advisors to tell David: “All the king wants from you as dowry for the bride are the foreskins of a hundred dead Philistines.” To this David agreed with alacrity. Preparations were made for the royal wedding and for a campaign by David to kill 100 of the uncircumcised.

XXX

When Jonathan was an adolescent he and his friends talked about women. (For adult Israelites such conversations were considered in bad taste.) One of the boys told of Canaanite men who did things to their wives in bed that made them just as frenzied as men, when the latter discharged their seed inside women. This may or may not have been true. As far as Jonathan was concerned, when he lay with his concubine, exhausted from a fight, all he wanted was to relieve his tension and battle fatigue. With his wife, he had to fulfill the duty of all married men: to make her bear many children, preferably more sons than daughters. Siring a male child was especially important for Jonathan, given his position as crown prince. He never bothered his head to speculate whether his concubine or wife enjoyed being taken by him. Jonathan himself wasn’t all that enchanted by sleeping with women.

Jonathan had no experience whatsoever in seducing a bed partner. However much thought he gave to the matter, he couldn’t come up with any ideas how he would make David
. . . do things to him. At least, not while David was fully conscious. Only once, when they were in their secret place, and David was very tired, Jonathan raised David’s head unto his thigh, making his leg into a pillow for the prince’s head. After a while, David’s head became heavier and heavier yet Jonathan bore joyfully the discomfort he felt. Their physical intimacy compensated for his suffering.

One day Jonathan came up with a complicated and dangerous scheme to seduce David. When Jonathan was a young boy, just after his father had been anointed king, Saul was still calm and lucid enough to tell his son stories. One of them was what happened right after Samuel had anointed him. The seer foretold him many events that would happen to him on his way home after Samuel poured the anointing oil over his head. One of them was that he, of all people, would prophesy. At that time there were many seers (now calling themselves prophets) who went from town to town in groups, playing various musical instruments, dancing and singing. (Though to Jonathan their singing was more on the order of chanting and shouting.) The reason there was so much prophesying throughout the land, was the stress of the Israelites who were in a constant state of war. The prophets comforted them by foreseeing a rosier future.

“Just as Samuel had predicted, when I entered Gibeah, I encountered a group of prophets,” Saul told his son, “playing harps, drums, flutes, and lyres. They danced and sang in a mad frenzy. They gave me gruel to eat, sprinkling some brown leaves, or it may have been something else, on top of it. After a while, the spirit of the Lord took control of me. For the rest of the day I don’t remember what I said or did, but when it was over I was a much happier and stronger man.” Jonathan knew that his father’s story was true, because many years later the people of Gibeah still repeated the saying “Has even Saul, the son of Kish, become a prophet?”

If it were possible for Jonathan to make David and himself prophesy-he understood that as being possessed by some force that made them behave madly-then . . . and here a mental picture came to mind of being taken by his friend as if he were a woman. But how could he make this happen? Jonathan new nothing about prophesying and, because of Samuel, the subject was distasteful to him. The only way was to get hold of a real prophet (there were many fakes throughout the land) and learn what he needed to know.

The main obstacle to carrying out this plan was that in the palace there were no secrets. Saul’s supposedly clandestine plans to get David killed by the uncircumcised were known by everyone, including the prospective victim. If the crown price bade his advisers summon a prophet to the palace, everybody would know about it and eventually find out the reason for it. Jonathan had to be very cagey about his plans. Instead of approaching his advisers, he summoned two commanders of one hundred men to his presence. He would have preferred to deal with the commanders of just ten men, but they would have been too unintelligent to carry out his orders. “I must consult a seer, one whom we call these days a prophet. Fetch me one who has a good reputation. Tell him that Prince Jonathan bids him keep the summons a secret and that he’ll reward him well.” Jonathan then gave each soldier three shekels, and bade them also to keep their mission secret. He knew that the prospects of them not indulging in gossip were slim. Still, they would be less inquisitive than his advisers. He gave orders to their commander to supply his emissaries with three donkeys (one for the prophet that they were to bring back) and plenty of food and water. The prophets were an itinerant bunch, and it would take a few days to locate one.

One week later, the soldiers ushered in a toothless, old man, who spoke in such a low voice that he was hard to understand. “What’s your name?” Jonathan asked.

“Most gracious prince, your servant’s name is Dalfon the son of Amitai, of the tribe Levi. I am a prophet of YAHWEH.”

As was the fashion among the prophets, Dalfon was bedraggled, his hair and beard unkempt. Jonathan reflected momentarily on Samuel’s appearance. Though he was the master of many of the new prophets, he always dressed properly and kept his beard trimmed. Samuel must have been insightful enough to realize that as the leader of the twelve tribes he was required to look presentable.

Jonathan was delighted that the man was a Levite. All members of that tribe devoted themselves exclusively to YAHWEH’s service and were likely to be more reliable in religious matters than members of other tribes.

Jonathan knew that every word he said in his chamber would by overheard by the eavesdroppers standing on the other side of the door. “Come, let’s walk outside the palace while we’re talking.” He took the prophet to the field where he and David practiced archery. The old man made a great effort to keep up with the much younger prince.

“I’m carrying out the king’s orders. Swear to me by YAHWEH that what you and I discuss will remain a secret.”

“My Lord, may my right arm wither, and may YAHWEH strike me dead, if I breathe a word of our conversation to another person.”

“Very well, then. I want to bestow the gift of prophecy on two men, who are not seers, just for one day. How can I do that?”

“My Lord, that is easy enough. But unless they are experienced in the art of prophecy they will need a guide.”

The old man’s voice was so low that Jonathan had difficulties understanding him. He wondered whether he had heard him correctly.

“A guide?”

“My Lord, the guide makes certain that the prophets absorb the spirit of YAHWEH and then repeat precisely the message given to them by Him, even if they themselves want to say something completely different.”

“Does YAHWEH appear to them?”

“My Lord, we are all servants of YAHWEH not heathen prophets. If YAHWEH, whose image we mustn’t see, appeared to us, surely we would die instantly. It is an angel of God who speaks to us in YAHWEH’s name.”

“Does the guide do more than just instruct the prophets?”

“Before we even start our dancing and singing we are given a special food that makes us receptive to the words of the guide.” Jonathan remembered what his father had told him about the gruel. “How can I acquire this food for two men?”

“I can get it for you easily enough. But it is very dangerous unless you know the proper rituals you must perform after eating it. It’s a mushroom, growing at the roots of the cedars of Lebanon, which we call the ‘prophets’ mushroom.’ For you, gracious prince, I will make sure that the mushroom is not a fake. We buy it from Canaanite merchants who often substitute a locally grown variety. Merchants were more honest when I was a younger man; but these days we live in very troubled times. I will be happy, my Lord, to serve as the guide of the men you have in mind. I have done so before many times. I repeat, my Lord, it is dangerous food.”

“Why do you keep saying ‘dangerous’?”

“Because, my Lord, one of the abominable heathen gods might appear to them demanding that they burn their first-born sons and sacrifice them on his alter to appease him. Or, my Lord . . .

“Enough, old man. This is a secret matter involving the war against the uncircumcised. Just bring me the mushroom. How much will it cost me?” The custom was to pay seers for their prophecy and, in this particular case, Jonathan also wanted to defray the cost of the mushroom itself.

“Most gracious prince, I will not charge the son of the king Saul!”

“Nonetheless, I will give you ten shekels as a token of my appreciation. When can you bring it to me?”

“In two-days time, my Lord,” the old man whispered.

Two days later, Jonathan had the mushroom bits, wrapped in clean linen cloth. They were small brown pieces finely cut. So small was the quantity that Jonathan wondered whether they would suffice for two men. But he trusted the seer.

XXX

David prepared his men meticulously for his assault on the Philistines to bring Saul his dowry of foreskins. He assigned a number of men with sacks to follow the attackers. In the sacks they would store the cut off male members of the Philistine and the soldiers keeping careful count. David was quite aware of the dangerous mission ahead of him. He and his men would have to corner 100 Philistine soldiers, fight and kill them, so that their manhood could be harvested and put in one of the sacks. He knew that cornered Philistine soldiers were formidable foes.

As was his custom, David planned the engagement with great care. Since he needed one hundred corpses, he had to attack a Philistine garrison rather than small groups of their soldiers. Such a garrison would likely be defended skillfully against stealth attacks. David decided to assault the garrison at nighttime, assuring himself that his soldiers would not have to contend with archers. But darkness would also allow the enemy to flee the scene once they realized that they were on the losing side.

David refused to answer Jonathan’s questions regarding that particular mission. “This is the dowry I’ll bring your father for his daughter Michal. Since it is my gift, it must all be my doing.” Jonathan worried greatly about his friend. He knew that the purpose of the dowry was to get David killed in battle rather than becoming the king’s son-in-law. “Don’t worry about me, my Lord Jonathan. YAHWEH will surely deliver the uncircumcised into my hands,” David said with his usual air of confidence.

Jonathan made up his mind to use the prophets’ mushroom once David accomplished his mission and secured his dowry. He tried to dismiss from his mind any worries about David’s fate in the ensuing battle. Once David came back from battle, he would have his men slaughter a lamb and prepare a feast for the victorious David. Then he would mix the mushroom with their food. Even before they ate and drank he would dismiss his men-there would have to be a number of them to bring the food and wine-and go with David to their secret place. It was Jonathan’s hope that the mushroom pieces, like any other food, would take some time to digest. He certainly did not wish for them to start prophesying in the open field.

He was worried that the effects of the mushroom might linger for months or years. His father Saul had eaten the prophets’ food only once but he still prophesied at times, which simply meant that, with no forewarning, he would start shouting and dancing, making no sense at all. But it was well known that mad men were sometimes prophets and vice versa. It was a chance both he and David would have to take.

He also faced a moral dilemma. He couldn’t possibly tell David that he would mix the prophets’ mushroom with the food he would prepare for him. David would certainly want to know why he was doing it. If Jonathan told him the purpose, David, naturally, would ask why the two of them needed to prophesy. Not telling David came close to betraying their friendship-both of them had made a number of covenants, in YAHWEH’s name, of eternal friendship. Friends did not tamper with each other’s food! But, in the end, mixing the pieces of mushroom into their food secretly won out. Jonathan comforted himself that it was not a breach of their covenant because it would be a one-time event.

Both Saul and David were anxiously waiting for the opportunity to attack the uncircumcised: Saul, to finally rid himself of David. David, to prove to the king that he was a valiant soldier, worthy to become the king’s son-in-law.

With David’s usual pluck and luck his men killed more than two hundred Philistines, suffering only a few casualties. It was a pretty gory scene, witnessed by the entire court, when David’s soldiers opened their sacks and counted the 200 uncircumcised male members. With each ten bloody Philistine sex organs dumped on the ground, a tremendous cheer went up from the onlookers. Once there were 200 of them on the ground, David stopped the count. His men had doubled the royal dowry.

When it was over, Saul was overcome by the evil spirit, went into the royal chamber, and gave orders that he did not wish to be disturbed. Jonathan congratulated David, and invited him to a feast he would give in his honor the next day. “Before the feast, I will sacrifice a bullock to YAHWEH as a holocaust offering to give thanks for your wonderful success.” A holocaust sacrifice meant that the flames would consume the entire animal, leaving no meat to be eaten by the assembled crowd. This was a special offering dedicated in its entirety to YAHWEH, affordable by only extremely wealthy worshippers. Jonathan owned some livestock, but a holocaust offering would be a big sacrifice.

“But, my Lord, it was my victory. I should bring the sacrifice.”

“No, it was a victory for all of us. I’ll do it.”

Jonathan also had a very practical reason for the sacrifice. He had made up his mind to be clean and purify himself before David possessed him. In the summertime, when water was scarce, the only plausible excuse for washing his entire body was offering a sacrifice to YAHWEH.

The night before the feast he discovered another reason why a day full of commotion would serve his purpose. It suddenly occurred to him that the nether part of his body might not able to accommodate David’s manhood since he had never done such a thing before. He tried to insert a candle there and even the tip of it would not enter the aperture. He thought that if he immersed the candle in oil it might enter him. Then, on the festive day, he would use an oiled candle to lubricate his nether part. But, of course, he had to try it out beforehand.

How would he get hold of the oil in the middle of the night? A servant was stationed outside his chamber to look after all his master’s needs. Naturally, the servant would be curious why the prince needed oil at that time of night. If he didn’t explain himself to the servant, the next day the lowliest handmaiden in the palace would know all about the prince’s strange request. Jonathan opened the door. The half-asleep servant stood up immediately. “What does my Lord wish?”

“It slipped my mind that I would need a vial of olive oil for tomorrow’s sacrifice. Fetch it right away lest I forget it.”

“But, my Lord, we can get it for you tomorrow. It would be easier to locate in daylight.”

It was not the first time that Jonathan regretted that in his father’s court there were servants rather than slaves. Israelite servants tended to be argumentative rather than just do as they were bidden.

“Bring me the pot now” Jonathan ordered, “and be quick about it.”

“Very well, my Lord,” the servant answered.

The immersed candle was somewhat easier to insert, at least partially. Jonathan decided that before he bathed, he would defecate, and, using the candle, lubricate his aperture as thoroughly as he could. Still, he expected a lot of pain when David entered him. But, in order to have David’s seed inside him, he was willing to bear all the aches it would bring.

Jonathan rose early the next morning and washed his entire body. Then he lubricated his aperture with the oiled candle. He had his servants bring a healthy young bullock from his herd. In front of the entire court, a Levite priest of YAHWEH slaughtered the animal, uttering the prescribed prayers. Then Jonathan, as the donor of the sacrifice, sprinkled a few droplets of the bullock’s blood on the assembled onlookers, who waited their turn according to their rank. Once that was done, the animal was thrown into a roaring bonfire to be consumed by the flames.

XXX

A crew of seven servants brought the food, which consisted of a cooked lamb, porridge of lentils, and jars of wine, to the archery field. Jonathan’s two brothers and his advisors were disappointed that they had not been invited. Feasts called for a multitude of guests especially since two men could not possible eat a whole lamb.

There was so much hustle and bustle that Jonathan had no difficulties at all mixing the mushroom pieces into the porridge. The day before he had eaten a tiny piece of it, assuring himself that it was completely tasteless and would not be noticed by David. He ordered his servants to prepare only two portions. It was a tradition that those who helped prepare the meal were given the leftovers. Rather than eat in their presence, he bade them take the leftovers back to the court. He repeated his earlier instructions that they collect the clay utensils only the next day.

As soon as the meal was over, Jonathan rushed David to their secret place behind the boulders. As soon as they reached it, David said: “My Lord, I must sleep for a while. I’m still weary from the battle.” Though there was nary a scratch on David’s body, Jonathan knew only too well that it took a few days to recuperate from such an intense encounter with the enemy.

David fell asleep instantly. For his part, Jonathan waited impatiently for the mushroom to take effect. It was a long time before anything at all happened. Then, suddenly, Jonathan experienced a change in his field of vision: the whole world turned blue. Even the grass seemed blue rather than green. A few moments later yellow took over, followed by a deep orange. Inexplicably, he felt great fear when he looked toward the blue sky and it appeared ominously orange. Then he started shouting. He had no idea what he was saying but an endless stream of words poured out of his mouth. He had the mad desire to discard his robe and be stark naked. Israelites were exceedingly modest, never displaying their nakedness to others. But however incoherent he was, he knew that it was common for prophets nowadays to disrobe and be naked in public places, scandalizing the onlookers. He unbuckled his belt, put his sword on the ground, and took off his light summer robe. After that, he no longer knew what was happening to him.

When Jonathan became coherent once more the sun was low in the western horizon, his robe was spread over him to cover his nakedness, and David, contemplating him, was playing a haunting tune on his flute. “My Lord, finally you’re awake. I think it is time for us to return. Pretty soon the sun will set.” David said all of this in a hoarse voice

Jonathan’s first thought was that he needed to put on his robe properly, retrieve and buckle his sword, and then answer a call of nature. As he staggered to his feet, David turned away to avoid seeing him momentarily naked. When Jonathan rose he felt pretty dizzy, and there was a sharp pain in his nether part, as if he had been stabbed there.

He walked a few steps to relieve himself against a rock. While he was doing so, he checked whether he was bleeding where the pain was. He must have bled at some time, because he could feel coagulated blood there. Fortunately, when he looked at his hand, there was no blood on it.

An Israelite woman always saved the sheet after the first night with her new husband and gave it to her parents to keep. If, later, the groom would claim that the woman had not been a virgin, the bloodstained sheet would be proof to the contrary. A great joy filled Jonathan’s heart. David had possessed him, and his seed was carousing through Jonathan’s body. The sharp pain was welcome-evidence that he belonged forever to his beloved.

When they returned home, not a word about what had happened was exchanged between them. All they discussed were future campaigns against the uncircumcised. Jonathan’s voice, like that of David’s, was also hoarse.

XXX

At night, while Jonathan slept, he broke wind and woke up. Immediately, he felt both pain and wetness where David had penetrated him. Though he worried about explaining the blood away to his servants, he experienced his earlier sense of elation. He and David were now one.

He got up early to inspect the bed as well as his clothes. Just where he expected, there was a bloody stain on his sleeping robe as well as on the sheet. He took a small dagger and slightly cut one of his fingers. He rubbed the bloody finger upward on the sheet form the stain to approximately where his left arm would have rested on the bed. Then he squeezed his finger again to draw out more blood at that spot. He did the same thing with his sleeping robe. Then he used the bloody sheet to put pressure on his finger until it stopped bleeding. He summoned his servant.

“Yesterday, I inadvertently cut my upper arm. The wound bled some at night. Have the sheet and my sleeping robe washed,” he commanded the servant.

“My Lord, let me see the wound so I can dress it properly.”

“It’s nothing. Just look after the washing.”

No sooner did that servant depart than another one entered. “David, the commander of a thousand men, is here. He wishes to see you.”

“Let him enter.”

As was customary, David kissed him lightly on both cheeks, bidding him God’s peace. He would not have kissed Saul, due to the enormous difference in their status. However, because of his military rank, and also since he would soon become the prince’s brother-in-law, David’s greeting was expected.

Servants always tried to linger in the room to pick up tidbits of gossip. Their pretext was that they were busy putting the room in order. “Be gone!” Jonathan ordered the servant. He immediately regretted the harshness of his voice. But what was most important for him was to be alone with David. Just as he had been incoherent for a long time the day before, David might have been in the same state, not even knowing that he had take possession of Jonathan. After all, David would not have bloody telltales on his body. Jonathan wanted to be sure that David knew what had happened.

Now that they were alone, Jonathan scrutinized David’s face. Somehow he looked very boyish and his green eyes seemed to sparkle even more than usual. He must have trimmed his beard this morning, Jonathan thought to himself. These were the first few days that David, in preparation for his wedding, wasn’t either planning a campaign or actually fighting the uncircumcised. Suddenly, David approached him and did the unthinkable. He took hold of his head and kissed him fully on his lips, as a man kisses a woman. Jonathan himself had rarely kissed his concubine or his wife on the face, let alone on the lips. It was not something he liked to do to his women. But he knew from folk songs that that was what men did to the women they loved. “My brother Jonathan,” David said, “thank you for yesterday’s feast.”

So David knew what had happened the day before. They were indeed brothers, for there were no words in their language for one man to say to another “you are my lover.”

Author’s note:
This is a fictitious story based on the Hebrew version of the Biblical text: I Samuel chapters 9 through 20, and II Samuel 1:26. I took the liberty of quoting directly from different English translations of the same text.

About the Author
Joseph Itiel is a published writer of 11 books. They are all listed on his web site. The site also contains his biographical details.

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